Kano

"Hello, baby. Did you miss me?"

Look, I'm not saying you're a bad person... but the quiz results don't lie. You are Kano. You're a survivor. You look out for Number One. While everyone else is arguing about honor and saving the world, you're checking their pockets for loose change.

Your traits:

• Opportunist: You see an angle in every situation.
• Direct: You have zero filter. If it's rude, you'll say it.
• Survivor: Cockroaches will die out before you do.

You are the sarcastic, rude friend that people keep around because you're actually hilarious and, frankly, you get things done. You might sell your grandma for a laser eye implant, but hey, at least you're honest about it.